Yes, Virginia, there can be sex after menopause. If you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, try these tips to put the spark back in your sex life.
Some older women fall for the myth that sex is only for the young. They feel self-conscious about the wrinkles and sags that come with midlife. Menopause symptoms make them tired and grumpy. Their partner seems more like a buddy than a lover. Over time, they just let their sexual self slip away.
This doesn’t have to happen to you. There is no reason why you can’t enjoy a full and happy sex life as you grow older, especially if you maintain your health.
In fact, many women find midlife a time of renewed interest in sex. Careers may not be so consuming now. Couples are often more aware of the importance of their relationship and will put in the time to make it stronger. For many, the kids are grown and gone, which means more privacy.
If you’re not ready to trade your satin negligee for a flannel nightgown, don’t. Try these tips to spice up your sex life:
- Think sexy. Remember, the brain is the major sex organ. The more you think about lovemaking, the more likely you are to want it and to make it happen.
- Take your time. It may take a little longer to get warmed up now that you’re older. Look on the bright side: it’s a great excuse for more foreplay.
- Get a little wild. Try something new to get things going. Watch an erotic movie together. Use a vibrator or other sex toy. Have sex in a different room or at a different time of day than you usually do.
- Set a sensual mood. Lower the lights and put on some sexy music. Wear something silky against your skin. Take a bubble bath together, then massage each other with scented oil.
- Speak up. It can be hard to talk about sex, even with the person you’re closest to, but you can’t expect your partner to read your mind. If something is uncomfortable, say so in a positive way. Rather than “I don’t like that,” say, “Let’s try it this way instead.”
- Stay in shape. Regular physical activity is key to long and healthy sex life. Exercise increases blood flow to all your organs, and it can improve your mood. Having a strong, fit body may also boost your self-image. Check with your doctor before you increase your physical activity.
- Do Kegel exercises. They strengthen muscles around the vagina and may help you enjoy sex more. They may also help prevent incontinence. You can do them anytime, anywhere and no one will know.
- Have fun. Sex can be a form of play. Take the focus off performance and put it on simply giving and getting pleasure. Relax and enjoy each other.
If these ideas don’t help (or you get tired just thinking about them), you may need to see your doctor. Hidden health conditions such as diabetes sometimes cause a loss of desire. A problem such as vaginal dryness can be solved with lubricants or vaginal estrogen. A checkup and a frank discussion with your doctor may help you rediscover your sex life.