What’s Your Pleasure Map?
A number of people have no clue. Yet this unique trail of your treasures is well worth exploring. Old and new lovers alike can delight in finding each other’s oft unknown pleasure zones, realizing that, like two snowflakes, no two of us are exactly alike sexually speaking.
Pleasure maps are based on a number of intricate elements that fuse together for what becomes our sexual personality. These factors include personal traits, namely physiological, biological, psychological, and emotional influences, plus those from our past. On a larger level, school, religion, families, culture, media, and society at large are amongst the major forces shaping our sexuality. Blend them together and you’ve got your personal pleasure map.
So How Does One Composite Their True Sexual Nature?
While lovers often begin to trace their treasure trail by identifying erogenous zones sprinkled all over the body, it’s important to realize that you have mental pleasure zones as well. So beyond “X” marks the spots on your form, you need to explore your desires, preferences, and fantasies in discovering what you fancy. This can be done on your own or in a trusting, open partnership, where lovers mutually support each other in unearthing the possibilities.
In this article, however, we’ll start with what has been coined “somatic communication,” the process of exploring every part of your body with direct touch. This enables lovers to talk about their sexual desires and what does and doesn’t feel good, with pleasure mapping exercises having the potential to enhance sexual intimacy.
Sex educator, massage therapist, and quadriplegic Kenneth Ray Stubbs suggests massage as one way to boost sex communication, with lovers asking for verbal feedback as they learn to better please their partner. This type of pleasure mapping has been used successfully in therapies for those with spinal cord injuries (SCI). Research has found that when some people have certain hot spots on the body stimulated, they can reach orgasm. This is especially the case for women, particularly those who can combine erotic thoughts with such stimulation. Yet any lover stands to benefit from such sex play.
To begin pleasure mapping via massage, have one partner rest partially or totally naked on a comfortable, flat surface, face down, in a warm, quiet, private room. Blindfold your lover before you begin, as this will increase the activity’s intensity. Begin touching your partner’s upper back with light caresses, paying attention to verbal cues. Staying within a five inch radius of the area you originally touched.
Ask your lover to pay attention to the stimulation and to respond with a number which indicates the degree of desirability or undesirability in the sensation produced, if at all. “Zero” is neutral, while positive responses can be a “one” for “Like it,” two for “That’s really great,” and three for “Wow!” Give minus numbers in cases where a sensation is undesirable. Be sure to stop any action that elicits a minus number response.
Continue to experiment with different pressures, strokes and motions, like taps, pinches, and bites, working your way down to the feet. With each area, try varying the direction and type of touch, incorporating kisses and other tongue action for more fun. Add to the moment by using enhancements, like massage oil, satin, powders, or feathers. Enhancements or not, you may notice that your partner’s sensitivity grows throughout this intimate session.
Once you’ve finished one side of the body, have your partner turn over so that you can map the other side, moving from the feet up to the top of the head. When you’re ready, bring your mapping activity to a close with long, loving caresses up and down your lover’s body. For more information on Pleasure Mapping, check out books and videos produced by Kenneth Ray Stubbs.